Thursday, May 3, 2012

MSFV Drop the Needle Action Scene

The amazing and wonderful Authoress over at Miss Snark's First Victim is hosting a "Drop the Needle" action scene critique today and yours truly is Entry #2. 

Go check it out!

I am stoked to have gotten in (the 25 open slots filled up in less than 1 minute) but also HORRIFIED to see TWO MISTAKES in the first two sentences.


I have no defense. I read the entry at least a dozen times before submitting it. I could blame the fact that in order to enter I sneaked out of my Plant Systematics lab and sat in the hallway with my laptop (true story) but that's just not gonna cut it. I got nothing.

For the record

  • The first line should not have a comma.
  • The second sentence should read, "Most of the mob gave him a wide berth until two men stepped into his path, clearly singling him out for trouble."
Anyway, try to forgive my...whatever is wrong with me...and head over to MSFV to check out the action scenes!


  1. Don't sweat it! You're a skilled writer, and that will show. I've TOTALLY made such dumb mistakes in the past. It's funny how that happens---when you've read some over a bazillion times, but still miss it. Why does that happen???? LOL.

    1. Attention to detail is something I've really been working on but sometimes it still kicks my butt. Thanks for the props though. :)

  2. I'm thinking you mean "wide berth" not the other way around? ;)

    Just wanted to stop by and say thanks for the comment. Mine is the other gladiator entry, with the minotaur. Thought it interesting that I had just commented on yours, then refreshed mine to see you had commented. :D

    Good luck with your story!

    1. Oh man, I can't believe it...

      Thanks for the critique. I appreciate the feedback.

      Between the two of use, hopefully we saturate the market with gladiator fantasy!


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